The Celebrity Traitors finale review – an anticlimactic finish to a frustrating sophomore series

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference’. This, I imagine, is the prayer that the producers of The Celebrity Traitors recite every morning before events unfold in the castle. And this second series of the show has demonstrated that some things are simply beyond the control of even the most interventionist of deities (aka Claudia Winkleman). Serenity, then, has been necessary – but did this sophomore series demonstrate the necessary wisdom in constructing its elaborate drama?

After James Acaster’s shock roundtable implosion, the finale was destined to be a more straightforward affair. Could Maya Jama stand the heat? Would the Faithful rumble King Kenny? Or would the treacherous duo steal the prize fund (and the nation’s hearts)? In the end, Maya was easily toppled, taking a knife to the back from Kenny, her turret protégé. Kenny, then, was scuppered by a ruthlessly efficient band of Faithfuls (perhaps learning from Nick Mohammed and David Olusoga’s needlessly credulous embrace of the duplicitous Alan Carr). In the end, it was Sebastian ‘Bash’ Croft and Romesh Ranganathan – two men at very different ends of the ‘ubiquity of British telly’ scale – who triumphed. “This might actually be the best day of my life,” wept Bash.

It was a beautiful moment in a topsy-turvy finale. The shocking denouement to last night’s episode guaranteed 24-hours of excruciating discourse about whether James Acaster had ruined the game, saved the game or simply failed to get into the spirit of the game. But as things picked up in the finale, it was clear that the Traitors were in for a rough night. Murdering Michael Sheen (the “vengeful daddy”) didn’t dull the inquisition. Yet the tension never seemed to reach too feverish a temperature. As ever, a long, boring task in the middle of the episode (“wow, wow,” they mumbled over instructions that my brain refused to retain) created a sag. Dispatching Maya so efficiently at the final roundtable also stripped the game of its best and most resilient Traitor.

There’s a nagging sense that the show got a little carried away on the success of the first series. After seeing Alan Carr ascend to national treasure status, as well as Nick Mohammed’s meteoric rise, every comedian in the country wanted onto the show. The producers clearly over-booked British comedians, with the likes of Rob Beckett and Joe Lycett getting lost in the scrum. It’s telling that less familiar faces like Bash (“just to play devil’s avocado”), Sharon Rooney (“the Poundland Poirot”) and King Kenny provided some of the series’ best moments. There have been other times, too, when more wisdom could’ve been exerted: allowing the Traitors to pick their third member created an early instability, and the “murder in plain sight” task was far too hard (the Traitors were asked to spray a perfume bottle before tricking a Faithful into yawning, which ultimately led to Acaster and Jama’s demise).

None of that really matters though, if the finale proves explosive. True to form, however, this second series of Celebrity Traitors concluded with brisk and considered deductions, the word “evidence” being criminally misused, and James Blunt flapping about like an Old Harrovian bobblehead. “It’s a tough game,” Romesh said as he dealt Kenny the coup de grace. It was quite a touching moment, watching 48-year-old Romesh correctly swayed by Bash, a man half his age. “I’ve got to be the worst winner in the history of this game,” he admitted afterwards. Yet The Traitors, across its many territories and iterations, has proven that a Traitor victory is more satisfying than a Faithful one. Watching Romesh, Bash and James Blunt thrashing out the terms of their victory – like Truman, Churchill and Stalin at Potsdam – felt an anticlimactic finish to a series which has had plenty of good characters, but an unruly, sometimes frustrating, overall narrative.

This second series of Celebrity Traitors will be remembered for two self-destructive moments: Richard E. Grant’s “I’m a Traitor” slip, and James Acaster’s “I’m a Traitor” confession. But while those were great moments, they both hindered the overall game. Serenity, then, is needed by the show’s producers to accept those game-breaking indiscretions, but more wisdom, next time, to cast people who want to be – and know how to be – effective Traitors.