Nicole Kidman has shared new insight from the night she won an Oscar in 2003.
The Practical Magic 2 star, 59, won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of author Virginia Woolf in The Hours.
In 2001, she had gone through a high-profile divorce from Mission: Impossible star Tom Cruise, and was still single at the time of her victory.
Speaking on the Therapuss podcast, Kidman recalled: “I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely.”
She continued: “So, yeah, crazy, though… that sort of the confluence of events where you go, ‘I wish…’ I had my mom with me and my dad, but I was like, ‘Where’s my partner, someone that I can share this with?’”
Kidman said the Oscar win made her reflect on her work-life balance, adding: “It was one of the most profound moments where I went, ‘I’ve got to get a life,’ and at the same time, I’m holding this gold statue where you go, ‘This is, this is it. This is the highest sort of prize you can get in our industry.’ And so grateful and yet so lonely.”
She continued: “I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now. I’d love to be around now, something that feels really, ‘Oh, OK, this is my real life.’”
Kidman previously revealed that she had no desire to go out partying to celebrate her win, recalling in the 2024 book 50 Oscar Nights: “I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award.
“I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They’re like, ‘That’s what you do.’”
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Despite her reservations about the after-party, Kidman noted that she still decided to go, with her Oscar award in her hands. However, according to the Big Little Lies star, she didn’t exactly enjoy herself at the event.
“So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it,” she said. “I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”
Kidman went on to marry country singer Keith Urban in 2006, but the couple divorced last year. She is currently starring in Practical Magic 2, the sequel to her hit 1998 film opposite Sandra Bullock.