Naomi Osaka shared an emotional statement after losing in the qualifying tournament at the Cincinnati Open.
The former world No. 1 didn’t receive a wildcard and was forced to go through the preliminary rounds but couldn’t make it into the main draw.
Following her latest setback, she confessed that she is “scared” because she doesn’t feel as though she’s in her own body.
Osaka returned from a long pregnancy break at the start of this season. She has enjoyed some good results since and beaten five top 20 players. But the four-time Grand Slam champion is still struggling to find some consistency.
A two-time champion at the US Open, Osaka had been hoping to rediscover her best tennis during the North American hard-court swing. But it wasn’t to be in Cincinnati, where she lost to Ashlyn Krueger in the final round of qualifying. Afterwards, the 26-year-old posted a heartfelt message to Instagram.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel for the past several hours,” she wrote. “In a weird way I’ve come to appreciate losses, you don’t play tennis for 20+ years without your fair share of them. You learn from a loss and then eagerly await your next opportunity to put what you learned to the test.
“My biggest issue currently isn’t losses though, my biggest issue is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body. It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to. I try and tell myself ‘it’s fine you’re doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing’, mentally it’s really draining though. Internally I hear myself screaming ‘what the hell is happening?!?!’”
While Osaka has been able to produce some good tennis, even upsetting Ons Jabeur in Canada last week, she confessed that she was scared because she felt the same way she did after giving birth.
The Japanese tennis star continued: “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve played a handful of matches this year that I felt like I was myself and I know this moment is probably just a small phase from all the new transitions (clay, grass, clay, hard etc), however the only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being postpartum.
“That scares me because I’ve been playing tennis since I was 3, the tennis racquet should feel like an extension of my hand. I don’t understand why everything has to feel almost brand new again. This should be as simple as breathing to me but it’s not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just now.”
But the current world No. 90 is motivated to keep going in her return from pregnancy. She is now looking ahead to the US Open, where she will need a wildcard into the main draw otherwise it will be back to qualifying. “During this time I’ve windered what do I want out of this whole experience and I realised something,” she added.
“I love the process (though the process doesn’t love me sometimes haha), putting in work everyday and eventually having the opportunity to get to where you want to be. I know life isn’t guaranteed so I want to do the best that I can with the time that I have, I want to teach my daughter that she can achieve so many things with hard work and perseverance. I want her to aim for the stars and never think her dreams are too big.
“Nothing in life is promised but I realised that I can promise myself to work as hard as I can and give it my best shot till the very end. See you in New York.”